Okej, okej, okej.
After sitting on the phone bawling my eyes out to my friend in Sweden, I’ve taken control again, and I’ve alleviated some of my stresses.
Things are not great yet, and there are some things I cannot control, but I feel a little better.
- I’m moving out in a month
- I’ve just enrolled for proper Swedish lessons at CAE
So since I woke up at 3pm, it’s socially acceptable for my first meal of the day to be beer, right?
Literally standing in front of the mirror crying and silently screaming at myself. I am so disgusted by what I see. Ugh. Reviled.
Everybody can go to hell in a hand basket.
So fucking done.
I just want you in my life. All of the time. I want you to meet my friends, my family, everyone that is important to me. I want to share you. I want to be by your side.
I’m really excited by the prospect of being able to bring you to my friend’s birthday this Saturday…
I hope you will say yes. I hope you want this too.
I’ve waited 2 months, 2 weeks and 3 days.
Tom and I finally had sex again.
It wasn’t as relieving as I was expecting though,
Because I was fighting so hard not to tell him how much I love him.
I couldn’t help it.
I couldn’t disconnect my feelings,
And I’m terrified that he doesn’t feel the same way.
but it’s okay. Just knowing that you want to be with me, and only me is enough to get me through.
Really hangin’ on the arrival of my new glasses today…